In Roy Keane’s more reflective autobiography, The Second Half, written with Roddy Doyle, he tells a story about Ruud Van Nistelrooy on the morning of the FA Cup semi-final in 2004 when Manchester United played Arsenal. “He came down the morning of the game and said, ‘I can’t play, my knee’s sore’,” Keane wrote. “And I went, ‘What’s up with you?’ I had a sore hamstring myself. He said, ‘Oh, I’ve been feeling my knee during the night.’ And I was, like, ‘It’s the Cup semi-final, for fuck’s sake.’ He said, ‘Well, I’ve only got one body, I need to…

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